"When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." — Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore 

Dear parents,

We have been plagued by a number of tropical storms over the past few months, and Ragasa, one of the strongest superstorms in recent years, caused the city to halt for more than 30 hours and its residents to scramble for food and supplies in food stores and supermarkets. After the widespread devastation caused by Mangkhut in 2018, we have become better prepared for natural disasters, resulting in less physical damage and fewer casualties.

In the midst of the storm, most of us took heed of the repeated warnings given by the authorities to stay indoors and away from the seaside.  Yet, a few parents have chosen to risk their lives to behold the gigantic waves at the seashore with their young children, only to be swept away by some overpowering breakers.  Fortunately, they got rescued, so no one died in the latest storm.

Indeed, natural disasters like tropical storms are predictable and transitory, and we can make extensive preparations to protect ourselves and repair any physical damage afterward.  However, few of us prepare our children for the emotional storms in life which could cause lasting and even irreparable damage that may traumatize our children for the rest of their lives.  Worse, unlike natural storms, some emotional storms are capricious and enduring, and some deep-seated emotional ordeals could go into hiding rather than totally vanish like natural disasters, and crush our children when an incident triggers some negative emotions. 

How then can we prepare our kids for some unavoidable storms in life?   Most parents would feel that once our kids achieve academic success, a rosy future awaits them, and they will be away from harm. To give our kids a head start, some of us sign them up for language and skills training when they are barely 6 months old.  Most kids start attending school when they are two, and we demand that they devote all their time to studies, so they have never learned to do chores at home or acquire other basic life skills.  Unfortunately, not all kids are cut out for academic pursuit.  What I often see in my classroom of junior primary school students is the pervasive boredom and apathy, and their readiness to be fed and regurgitate rather than to think or create on their own.

You may think such lassitude has nothing to do with their ability to wear out emotional storms in life.  Local research results, however, have proven otherwise.  In the recently released Hong Kong School Children Happiness & Life Worth Living Indices, “regression analysis shows that LIFE (Love, Insight, Fortitude & Engagement) education greatly benefits happiness and a student’s sense of self-worth, and is associated with less bullying. Pressure, whether from study or from activities, undermines happiness and a student’s sense that life is worth living.” 

Such LIFE education is indeed fundamental and should not be left entirely in the hands of school teachers.  Our kids need to know failing a test or exam isn’t the end of the world as they are still treasured and loved by their parents.  They must learn some self-care skills at home and manage their time and money so that they won’t squander their limited resources.  They must know they are valuable by who they are not what they have achieved.  When they fail, they need to see that you are there to walk with them, which will surely reinforce their fortitude.

Let’s be our children’s mentors rather than faultfinders, and help them overcome their storms in life.